My father.....

Well today I received a call from my dad, who by the way lives in Michigan and has for many years (he separated from us when I was a little, little girl... ). The reason for his call was to wish me a happy birthday - my birthday is not until Friday!!! o'well I guess its the thought that counts.... Me and my dad do not have the best relationship. All I've felt in my heart is resentment. I don't know if that feeling will ever go away (I wish it would). Now as a parent, my heart would break if any of my children would feel the way I feel... I have gone through so much (my lil brother and my sisters have gone through so much)... When (WHEN) he calls my hands sweat, my heart starts beating faster, my eyes get watery and all these mixed emotions go through me.... I hate it. That's probably why I don't like talking to him. I hope one of these days I'll forgive him for the life I had when I was a child. Hopefully, it will be before he passes... He used to be my DADDY! The one I looked up to! His little angel..... I can't go on.... it just hurts so much......